When You Fly Too Close To The Sun, You Get Burned!

Whatever will come, will come. Whatever will go, will go. I welcome the changes. Earlier in the week, I carefully hiked out onto the frozen, ice-encompassed snow and refilled the bird feeder. I had read a blurb, in passing, about birds dying of hunger and exhaustion because of extremely cold temperatures. Of course, it was a source that wasn’t cited, on the internet, so who knows if it was really cold enough where I was that the birds were going to be in danger of dying, but I didn’t see any reason not to fill up the feeder. After all, the food was there, and the birds knew immediately what I was attempting to do, and were darting to and fro between the branches of the many trees in the yard as I made my way, first up the hill, then back down again.  I had to retrieve a tool to pry open the top of the feeder where it, too, was encased in a thick layer of ice and snow. By the time I finished my task, the blue jays had caught wind of the full feeder and the cardinals and nut hatches had made room for the assholes of the bird world, as I like to call them. Blue jays are corvids. I don’t know if you knew that or not. Maybe now you do. 

It hardly matters one way or another, I think, for most people, what I do or don’t do in my life. The famous words of Ms. Steckler, “Worry ‘bout ya own self!” come to mind. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing until I notice they’re about to burst into flames from standing too close to the fire, so to speak. 

If there’s a crow or raven in the road, I will brake and give them ample time to fly away from their carrion meal. I try to watch behind me so that it’s not a safety issue for me or anyone else, but I really don’t want to kill a bird. 

I had a really weird conversation with a young adult I worked with once, and he had smiled—either it was quite gleefully because it was a lie or because he was a psycho (your call) and laughed as he recalled having killed a bird—“accidentally.” I’m pretty sure that guy is a bad person but I can’t prove he’s killed anything on purpose. I also had a weird conversation with some other guy (picture one of the seven dwarves, if you will) in which this guy tells me he has to “put down” all the injured, sick, or dying farm animals. He laughed about it a lot but he made a big joke about it even though he was clearly upset about the subject matter. I never had the feeling that this guy was a bad person but he is a shitty person—there’s a distinction. Shitty person but not a cold-blooded bird-killer type. You know the type. The kind of person that just kinda makes your skin crawl. The kind of people who love money more than their fellow man. We all know the type. And if you don’t, well…all good (and bad) things in time, my friends. Pray that you will always be surrounded by those types of people who love life, and living it, more than chasing paper. 

I don’t spend my time with people like that, anymore. I thank the gods for that. I spend the majority of my time with people who think that killing living things for anything other than mercy or a meal—and even some of that we have debated about—is a bad thing. I could tell you another story about a bad person or what happened to them for the rest of their lives (probably more bad stuff). I could spend my time like that. But I don’t have to, because those who put negative energy and vibes out into the world get it back, slowly but surely. I could write a story about people who “accidentally” kill things and then run into a lot of really tragic turns of everyday events in their lives…but why bother? Why tell you something that will make your stomach churn and your blood boil when the “bad guy” just kills a puppy and takes all the buried treasure? Will it make either one of us feel better? 

It’s something to consider, when we stare into the endless depths of time—does it matter how we spend all of our time in these lives? 

It matters much more than you think it does, and one day, maybe, you’ll realize it too.

I am not the same person I was when I had the desire to pull all my dark thoughts out of my brain and put them on the digital screen. That person was trying so hard to get to where I comfortably am right now. In the last few years I have learned what it truly means to be myself. To set boundaries and be firm with those who cross them and be kind to both myself and to others that I often misunderstand. It’s obviously a work in progress, I am still learning and changing. Anyone who knows me should know that I probably won’t be very nice about it, but if you really needed it, I would give you the shirt off my back. But only if you really needed it. If you had like a pile of shirts and everyone you encountered was just handing their shirts over because they think it’s what is expected, I am gonna question it. You cant really wear more than, like, a dozen shirts at a time. And I feel like a dozen is pushing it. 

So come with me, for a walk outside, or perhaps just sit quietly by the window, watching the birds at the feeder. The color of the male jays and cardinals is a striking burst of color against the muted hues of a the wintry scene. The cutest little birds are a grey smudge of color with a vaguely fuzzy outline as they hop in the underbrush. The gold finches are wearing their brown winter feathers but are still a flash of color when they spread their wings and fly away. Home to their nests. Off to tell a friend the feeder is full again. Bird song fills the cold air outside if you are just still and quiet enough to hear it. It is the sound of a happy life, those bird songs. You should take the time to listen.

Do you know what “coronal mass ejection” means? I could tell you but I don’t want to make it easy for you, if you don’t already know. Figure it out. You know what I like to think of it as? When I reach out to the Sun, it reaches back towards me. It’s a nice thought. I think of it’s warmth on my face. Even in the cold winter air, the sun still shines upon me here.

I wonder what that means in terms of it’s application to other things? If the sun reaches back when I reach out…

“If you stare into the abyss…”

Just a thought. 

I’m gonna go sing with the birds. Because it’s fun and we’re happier that way.